New study explores why America’s young men are ‘demoralized’

Despite their ambition, many young men are failing to accomplish their goals, especially as the value of a college degree decreases and marriage and family is delayed, according to a new report from the Institute for Family Studies.

“Young men are not apathetic. Rather than easy accommodation to their circumstances, our findings suggest that young men’s hopes are being frustrated,” IFS writes in its summary of the report.

Sadly, 42% of young men, ages 18-29, consider themselves “failures,” and this view is especially common among men who do not have a college degree, are not working full-time and are not married with children.

The IFS study interviewed these struggling young men to hear their perceptions on manhood and what challenges they are facing. Part one, now published, focuses on coming of age, education and work, and marriage and family.

The research has found that only 31% of young men, ages 18-29, believe they have reached full adulthood, and the percentage increases a mere 10 points (41%) for men in their late 20s (24-29).

“The defining criteria for adulthood have changed… Consequently, when we asked young men if they felt they had reached adulthood, most are unsure whether they have fully arrived,” the report explains.

Most young men associate marriage and children with adulthood, but only 14% of men ages 18-29 are married and only 9% have children, despite wanting both, IFS reports. In fact, 68% of young men say they desire marriage and 62% say they want to be fathers in the future.

Additionally, 59% of those surveyed were not in a romantic relationship, though 74% said they are open to dating.

An additional factor may be impeding romance, however: Young men believe they must be prepared for marriage, which primarily means having a stable job and income, IFS revealed.

“Over half of our respondents say that the time is not right to start a romantic relationship,” the report explains. “This underscores that there is a clear priority in the minds of men with achieving a certain station in life before being ready to date and marry.”

While young men categorize marriage and children as qualities of adulthood, they emphasize individualism as far more important to reaching adulthood than marriage and family.

“But their perception of adulthood is profoundly individualistic, not social, revolving around perceptions of being independent, rather than embedded in social roles,” said IFS Senior Fellow Brad Wilcox in a post on X.

More than 90% of young men say having a stable job is either very or somewhat important for marriage preparation, and nearly the same percentage emphasized financial security.

More than half of young men say being financially and personally independent is more important for adulthood than completing a college degree, which only 31% affirmed. Half of young men who are completing their undergraduate degree say college is not worth the time or money, with 60% saying they could attain a job of their interest without a college degree.

“For many, college is not working out as advertised. Some may feel betrayed and regret the expense,” the report states.

Trade schools now boast a 77% job placement rate – similar to the 80% statistic for college grads, IFS reports.

In addition to young men’s goal of financial security for marriage, the majority of young men hold to a traditional view of masculinity, with 80% saying “men should protect women.” While this phrase is culturally “characterized as paternalistic and sexist,” young women agree at nearly the same percentage, IFS reports.

A majority of young men (85%) say manhood includes responsibility, sacrifice, strength and leadership, according to IFS.

“We also find that young men would like to be men in every sense of the word, and to have a social role as such,” the report states, though 70% of them also say society holds a negative view of masculinity.

“Assuredly, manhood and masculinity have become highly charged issues,” the report explains. “In academia, popular media, the entertainment industry, and society at large, the commentary is often highly unsympathetic and disparaging.”

Part two of the report, addressing social connection, alienation, and distress among young men, is slated for release in the coming months.